Low self-esteem and low self-confidence can cause you to feel negative feelings and it can have long-term damaging effects, like being afraid of speaking up and having a negative self-perception.
I too experienced having a negative self-perception. I used to wear a brace for my scoliosis, and I know that I should not be insecure about it, but it was so hard not to. Especially when people kept touching my back while asking and joking about it.
Eventually, I was swallowed with self-pity, and it took me a long time to rebuild my self-esteem and self-confidence. Though it took a long time, I finally dared to move on and face my problems head-on. This made me feel happier and free from my past that’s been holding me back. These tips that I’m going to share are the things that I’ve learned and I hope it can help you as well.
1. Confront Your Fears
Your fears will keep you safe from any pain, but it won’t help you in improving your confidence. Try to confront your fears, put yourself out there, and learn from them.
To not overwhelm yourself, try taking small steps at a time or gradually face your fears. Trust me, facing your fear is better rather than avoiding it. It is because avoiding your fears would only increase your anxiety in the long term because your teaching yourself that you can’t handle it.
Just think about it, are you really happy, or just comfortable with your life now? I struggle with this too because I know how easy it is to just stay inside your comfort zone rather than to face your fears. But If we give in, we won’t be able to achieve our goals.
2. Succeed In Failure
“Failure is success if we learn from it”
– Malcom Forbes
Failure may put you down, but it does not make you unworthy of happiness or love. Instead, it’s a matter of courage of pulling yourself back up and facing it again.
To do so, we have to change our mindset of failure. Instead of seeing it as an obstacle to your success and would always try your best to avoid it. Try to change your perspective of it and see it as a tool for success. That would teach you lessons that will allow you to learn and improve yourself better.
3. Focus On Your Strengths
“To be successful, focus on your strengths and develop them.”
– John C. Maxwell
We always tend to focus on the things we lack. We oftentimes compare ourselves to other people and because of that, we become too hard on ourselves.
Doing so will only affect our self-esteem and confidence. Rather than looking at the things that you lack and putting so much pressure on yourself. Remind yourself of the strengths that you have and learn how to improve it more.
And to also appreciate what you currently have and the people around you. Trust me, you’ll see the world differently once you start practicing it,
4. Put Your Health First
It’s always important to take care of your health and make it your top priority. Because having poor health can contribute to tiredness, and stress, which would limit us from doing the things we want.
Exercise regularly and don’t forget to eat proper meals. Also, don’t forget to take care of your mental health too. Always, find time to relax to be able to reduce stress and anxiety or engage in hobbies that can bring you joy.
5. Don’t Always Say Yes
“When you say “yes” to others, make sure you aren’t saying “no: to yourself.”
–Paulo Coehlo
I know how hard it is to say no to other people especially if you don’t want to displease them. When we just want to fit in, to have a sense of belonging where we would feel loved and safe.
However, you shouldn’t say yes to the things that you don’t like, where your heart is not in it. In the end, it would only affect yourself, where the purpose of your world would revolve around someone else’s opinion of you.
Assess first before automatically saying “yes” ask yourself: Is this something I want to do? or I just want this person to like me or to approve of me?
Know your worth, you deserve so much more than you think. You don’t always have to please everyone, and the important thing is before saying yes or no, it must always be your choice, not someone else’s.
6. Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”
– Zen Shin
There is nothing wrong with admiring other people but comparing yourself to them can be unhealthy. It can affect how you perceive yourself and will lower your self-esteem and confidence.
To stop comparing yourself to other people, you need to focus on your journey, you don’t have to focus on other people’s life. What they have and what they are doing has nothing to do with you.
Remember, that everyone has their own pace in their journey and so do you. Focus on your own, be you, and love yourself.
7. Set Attainable Goals
When you create daily attainable goals, you can see your progress. It can help you in motivating yourself because you can see that every day you are accomplishing something even if it’s something small.
However, be careful in setting unrealistic goals that you can’t possibly attain in a short amount of time. That instead of feeling motivated and accomplished, you can end up feeling bad for yourself.
Even if in the end you didn’t manage to accomplish your goal. Don’t beat yourself too hard, but don’t forget about that goal and stick to it, and never give up on reaching for that goal.
8. Lift Yourself Up
“You’re a fighter. Look at everything you’ve overcome. Don’t give up now.”
– Olivia Benson
To lift yourself, you need to first stop the negative self-talk. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, confident, loved, and worthy. As long as you keep on doing it, you will start to feel it and believe it.
You can also try to talk about it with your loved ones or someone you can talk to. Getting things off your chest can make you feel better, rather than bottling it up until it explodes.
9. Work On Self-doubt
“Your self-doubt does not define who you are or what you are capable of.”
No one is stopping you from succeeding except yourself. Assess the areas where you doubt yourself and do things that you never thought you could.
Also, stop making excuses for yourself that can only delay your plans, and stop asking for validation from other people who don’t understand your goals. All you need is to have faith and trust in yourself that you can do it.
Everyone is experiencing self-doubt. It’s just a matter of fact that people became successful is because they fought hard to overcome their self-doubt. Until they finally succeed.
10. Be Observant
The world may seem unknown to you because you made it that way. Be observant of the world around you to improve and be open to new experiences and learn from them.
The real world is different, and staying unobservant about the world around you will make you clueless. You’ll be confused most of the time because you don’t know how to handle new things.
To improve, you need to become more curious and improve self-awareness. That can make you more knowledgeable and be able to expose yourself to more opportunities that can inspire and excite you.
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